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Saturday
May282016

My Clickhole Failure

So a while back, Clickhole put out the call for new writers/content monkeys. You were required to create 10 headlines in their multiple categories (Video, List, Article, Quiz). I obviously did not get the gig (which bums me out, since this would have been a fun-ass place to work), but I was pretty pleased with my submissions/thought thy was mostly pretty funny. So I'll set them here, in this wayward and disregarded corner of internet posterity.

While I met with failure, I regard it as a worthy failure.

Please to enjoy, Tiny Handful of Readers.

 

LIST:

17 Ways My Ex Is An Ungrateful Dragon Hooker


VIDEO:

Watch Harrison Ford Plow His Small Plane Into This Family Cookout. Last Thrill For a 9-Year-Old Star Wars Fan!


LIST:

11 Vermin Elizabeth Banks Would Eat Raw Before Laying Her Alabaster Hands Upon Any Part of Your Sad Carcass


QUIZ:

Test Your Knowledge – Track From Cast Recording of “On Your Feet!” or Thimble Brimming With Tepid Spit?


LIST:

4 Senses That Are Heightened For Matt Murdoch (Editor's note: Non-Daredevil fans may struggle with this one)


ARTICLE:

Find Out Why the Rest of the Color Wheel Calls Pantone 719B a “Scabrous Little Dick Hole”


LIST:

12 Tricks For Preventing Your Next Brunch From Becoming Another Pointless and Harrowing Ordeal


ARTICLE:

Hapless Stumblebum Jeb Bush Has Actually Been Israeli Spy For Past Three Decades. “This is some ‘Mr. Bean’-level shit,” Reports NSA’s Gen. Alexander


LIST:

Estate Planning: 18 Reasons You’ll Be Dumped Unceremoniously Into a Pauper’s Grave 

QUIZ:

Which Is Sadder: This Jar of Store Brand Gravy, or This Toll Booth Operator’s Partial Erection?

 

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